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FAQs
What follows is a fake interview. Why, you ask? Excellent question, dear fictional yet oddly curious reader. For the answer, click/tap here
Who are you?
I’m Alfie Deliss - sometimes I say "Delish" for fun, but I know it's tasteless. You might also know me as Mr Sketchum - a stage name, though I don’t actually take to the stage. Born and raised outnumbered by museums and sightseers in South Kensington, I did school at the French Lycée there, where I learned from Sartre that life is absurd, and after that studied art at Chelsea, and then at uni, where I was inspired to make the absurdity intentional.
What do you do?
I provide entertainment with on the spot 'lightning sketches' - portraits with enough exaggeration to amuse, but not enough to offend (unless that’s what you’re after) - at corporate events, private parties and weddings, leaving guests grinning, chuckling, or at least mildly confused.
How long have you been doing this?
I started freelancing full-time in 1999, but I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember. When I was eleven I got sent to the headmaster for doing a comic strip depicting our much-loved maths teacher, Monsieur Tagariste ("Taga") decapitating the entire front row of the class with one swoosh of his steel rule, and blinding the fidgety pupils at the back by throwing chalk stubs at them.
Have you ever really offended anyone?
Yes, intentionally. But no, people get that it’s entertainment and a bit of fun. I can read a room - if the mood calls for full-on comedy sketches I'll oblige, otherwise I aim for recognisable rather than ridiculous.
How long does each portrait take?
Five or six minutes, unless a group of good friends tells me to sketch them all looking as gloriously silly as possible, in which case I can speed things up and strip the drawings down to bare bones that are so undeveloped they're instantly recognisable, hilarious, and possibly illegal in some countries.
Do you charge for the sketches?
No, my client pays me for my time - the sketches are basically gifts from them to their guests. Besides, drawing people you've never met before is difficult enough without trying to get money out of them at the same time!
Do people have to "pose"?
They can, but the best results happen when they don’t. Natural gestures, laughter, mid-conversation expressions, shapes the mouth throws when speaking - these unique, quirky and often very appealing aspects are things that I look to pick up on to really make a sketch them. If you're having fun, you'll look great - at least on paper.
Does art run in the family?
It does. My grandfather, Leo Delitz, was a Viennese society portrait painter and the son of a sculptor. When the Nazis came along with their message of peace & love, the family weren't quite convinced and left Austria to it and came to London. My father & uncle joined the British Army (Glider Pilot Regiment), and given the practical considerations of the time, changed our last name to Deliss.
My mother, Michèle Deliss, was a Parisian fashion designer with a boutique in Chelsea in the ’60s. I remember watching her sketch designs one after the other at lightning speed with a black felt-tip - she had the same knack as me, but for couture, not caricature...and (here's another gag) I tend to make the heads bigger.
What are your influences?
A mess of cartoonists and illustrators whose work is so good it's not even funny. To name a few, Phil May, André Franquin, Spy, Honoré Daumier, Dave the Chimp, Spaghetti Man, John Tenniel, Martin Rowson, Gilbert Shelton, John Hölmstrom, Steadman, Scarfe, "Jake'n'Dinos", Steve Ditko, Robert Crumb, Tex Avery, David Low, Ella Baron...still awake? If you need a full list, better bring a snack next time, it might take a while.
Do we get to keep the drawings?
Yes of course! What on earth would I do with them?! They make great souvenirs. Or dartboards, depending on how I’ve drawn you.
Where are you based?
Dalston (or "Dullston", according to Will Self - we try not to take it personally) in Hackney, east London - a stone's throw from Liverpool Street. I travel all over the country and occasionally beyond.
What's next?
Check out the booking information page for hire rates and some pointers. There's a short enquiry form, or you can email or call. If you need more details, I'm happy to help.
Do you enjoy what you do?
Yes it's fun. It’s rare to find a job that lets you pay the bills while making people smile. If you find something you love doing, keep on doing it.
